A Shopping Trip
by Punisher143
Summary: A slice of life fic in the strange lives of the Vocaloid gang. This may be considered crack depending on the definition. Nonetheless, this is still a humor fic. Now a series of one-shots.
1. The trip

**Well, here's something new. I hope it's good and don't expect the ending to make any sense. And I guess there might be MikuxKaito if you squint sideways.  
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**I don't own anything, as always.  
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><p>It was a slow day in the Vocaloid apartment, with most of the group out. This left only Len, Rin, Kaito, and Miku in the apartment. The first three were in the living room watching TV, although the only decent thing on were reruns of old shows and the news. It was unanimous to watch the reruns.<p>

"I didn't know that there were reruns of 'Greatest American Hero' here, let alone that there was a market for it here at all," Kaito remarked to himself. Len and Rin both grunted in agreement. The ensuing silence was broken by Miku's loud yelling from the kitchen.

"What the hell, how did we run out of food _again?_"

Kaito sighed and yelled back, "We do live in an apartment with about half a dozen people." Miku didn't take the remark well, since she walked up and landed a good blow on his head.

"Well, since we have no food and have to feed you and me are going shopping," Miku said, lightly slapping a leek against her palm.

'Where the hell did she get that? I thought she used the last one for her lunch,' Kaito thought to himself. "Why do I have to go?" he protested aloud.

"What, you would rather me take them?" Miku said and pointed her leek at the Kagamines, who were still watching TV.

Kaito immediately shot up. "Oh no, nononono, I'm not letting them into public after last Saturday." Kaito said, and started shaking at the memory. "So much blood…"

"Yeah…" Miku said, sharing the horror of that weekend. "Well anyway, let's get going," Miku said, her usual cheeriness returning.

When the two left, Len sighed. "They're never going to let us live that down, are they?" he asked Rin.

"Nope. I mean, how were we supposed to know that Meiko was allergic to Bhut Jolokia peppers?" she said, and went back to watching the show. "What's this show about again?" she asked.

"I have no idea," Len replied. The two shrugged it off and continued watching.

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><p>'Well, so far nothing bad has happened,' Kaito thought to himself. Of course this was to be expected, since (arguably) the only normal vocaloids were the ones shopping.<p>

"Hey, what was Gaku's favorite food again?" Miku asked. Kaito thought for a second.

"I think its eggplants," Kaito said.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Miku said and grabbed some eggplants. She finished bagging them when she said, "I just realized that we know a lot of people with weird food tastes."

"What?" Kaito asked.

"Well, Meiko likes that old fashioned made sake right?" Miku asked. Kaito nodded and Miku continued, counting off her fingers. "The trouble twins like bananas and oranges, Luka's really into tuna for some reason."

"I tried it once, it was ok," Kaito said, while picking out said tuna.

"Yeah, but don't you find it weird that we know so many people that insist on eating one specific food with every meal? I dare you to name one dinner that Meiko had that didn't end with her completely smashed."

Kaito thought back on that and found that Miku had a point. Then that leek came back into his head.

"Speaking of food, this has been bugging me for a while," Kaito said and pointed at the leek that was hanging from Miku's belt. "Where did you get that? I thought you used the last leek for your lunch."

Miku looked at the leek and pulled a double take. She pulled it out of her belt and the two stared at it. "How long have I had this?" Miku asked.

"Since we left the apartment," Kaito said. They stared at it a bit more before Kaito asked, "You **do **know where that came from, right?"

Miku slowly shook her head and the two stared at the mysterious leek for a minute. Then Miku shrugged and cheerfully said, "Oh well, free leek."

"Riiiight, let's finish up here ok?" Kaito asked.

"Yeah, lets. Oh hey, it's those cute little ice cream things you like so much," Miku said pointing at the ice cream section.

"WHERE?" Kaito said and sped towards the freezers.

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><p>About 15 minutes later, the two had finished shopping and returned home. "Can you get Gaku to help us with this?" Miku asked.<p>

Kaito nodded and went to get him. He had just reached his room when he heard shouting from Gakupo.

"Goddammit, why is there so much coal here? I don't need this much!"

Kaito quickly knocked on the door and hoped he wouldn't get hurt from this. "What is it?" was the answer.

"We need your help down here."

"Cooking?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, hold on." A couple seconds later, a tired looking Gakupo came out.

"You ok man?" Kaito asked.

"Yeah, I just think I stayed up too late last night. What's for breakfast?" Gakupo asked.

Kaito stared at Gakupo for a second. "It's dinnertime now," he said plainly.

"Are you serious?" Gakupo asked. Kaito nodded and Gakupo's shoulders drooped. "Dang it, it's so easy to lose track of time with that game."

Kaito put his arm around Gakupo's shoulder and led him away. "Don't worry; you'll get over it soon," Kaito said.

"I hope so," Gakupo replied.

Dinner preparations went smoothly, mostly because Miku kept a close eye on Len and Rin to make sure they stayed away from the food. When everything was ready, the group gathered.

"Man, this looks good," Meiko said aloud.

"Isn't it always?" Luka asked and started on her plate. Meiko let out a chuckle.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, chow time!" Meiko was about to eat when thought hit her. Saturday. She shot Rin and Len a suspicious look.

"We didn't touch anything, we swear!" The two of them said simultaneously. Meiko looked at Miku.

"I made sure they didn't come near the food," Miku said simply and went back to her food. Meiko looked at the Kagamines again before eating her food. Dinner passed without further incident.

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><p>It was a while after dinner and the Vocaloid group, minus Gakupo, was engaging in small talk.<p>

"Yeah, _**that**_ was an embarrassing shoot we did," Miku said. Kaito couldn't help but blush at the story, even though he tried not to.

"What does Gaku do up in his room all the time anyway?" Len asked. Miku just waved it off.

"He's probably just playing his games or something," she said. No sooner had she said that than a crashing sound came from upstairs. The group all looked at each other, except Luka who was immersed in a book.

After a moment, Kaito threw his hand up and said, "Fine, I'll go see what that was." He got up and walked through the door, only to be punched back in by something. Whatever it was, it was roaring and _pissed._ He only saw that it was tall and hairy before it jumped out the window. Kaito sat up and looked at the window. Gakupo ran into the room and looked out the broken window.

"Dammit, that stupid Sasquatch got away!" Gakupo yelled. Kaito mouthed 'Sasquatch' and gave a confused look at the others, who just shrugged.

Gakupo started walking away from the window, then turned back and started shaking his fist at the window. "One day I'm gonna get that filthy animal," he said then walked out.

The group was in stunned silence for a moment, then they all shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU FU-"

The End.

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><p><strong>I'll be pleasantly surprised if anyone gets the joke at the end. Ah well, hope you enjoyed this.<strong>

Luka:*looks up from book* "Did I miss something?"**  
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	2. The hole

This was _supposed_ to be a one shot, but what the hell, let's make it a series of one shots. This ought to work out well.

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><p>Miku couldn't believe this. She just couldn't leave Len and Rin, aka 'The Trouble Twins', alone for any length of time. Otherwise, this happens. The three of them were in Len and Rin's room, where they were looking sorry for themselves while Miku was performing the rare and dangerous maneuver, the double facepalm. It took a while before Miku could talk.<p>

"OK, I- I know you explained this, but what were you doing when this happened?" Miku asked, still trying to comprehend what she was seeing.

"Well, Rin and I were just hanging out and talking about food," Len started and then Rin followed and they did that weird thing where two people continue the other's sentences.

"And I was wondering what pizza would taste like if it had wasabi and rocky road ice cream on it would taste like-"

"And then I wondered what that would taste like blended with tuna-"

"So we got a blender-"

"Blended it-"

"Then this happened," They finished together, Rin pointing at why Miku was there.

Miku did a double facepalm again, trying to wrap her mind around this. "Ok, so you two blended a bunch of random food items together," she paused, waiting for the Kagamines response which was a nod, before continuing, "And this, somehow, resulted in a TEAR IN REALITY?" She said, shouting the last part and pointing at the source of her rage.

Somehow, the Kagamines managed to create a portal, floating about an inch above the floor and big enough to almost hit the ceiling. It was oval shaped and continuously shifting colors. It was also emitting a weird humming sound.

The Kagamines shrugged and said, "We're just as confused as you are."

Miku sighed, rubbed the bridge of her nose, and prepared the lecture that Rin and Len were expecting to get. "Guys, this is why we never let you do anything. Because if we do, then you're bound to do something like this. Remember last Saturday when Meiko had to go to the hospital because you thought it was a good idea to switch Kaito's jalapeño's with those Bhut Jolokia peppers? That's the kind of thing we mean, and now this happens." She took a breath before continuing.

"I don't even know what this thing really is. It could be a wormhole, a mini-black hole, or the beginning of that Schwarzwelt thing from that Strange Journey game that Gakupo plays. I don't know, but I do know that this is going to be a pain to explain to the neighbors. Me and Kaito have to apologize on at least every week because of what you do and-"Miku said continuing with her lecture.

Miku didn't notice that something had came out of the rift, though the Kagamines noticed. It was about as tall as Miku, green skin with black dots placed randomly on it, it walked on four stumpy legs, and the most striking feature about it was the perpetual 'D: ' face it had. It looked around the room silently before slowly walking to the door.

"Uh, Miku," Len started before Miku shouted him down and continuing the lecture. She didn't notice the thing in the room until it started scratching at the door. She sighed when she heard it.

"Ugh, the cat wants out," she mumbled to herself. Miku walked over and let the thing out, barely giving it a second glance. "Right, where was I?" she started, but then stopped when she realized what she let out. "That wasn't a cat," she said, stating the obvious, then ran out the room after it.

Meanwhile in the living room, Kaito was watching some anime when Gakupo walked in muttering to himself.

"You ok, Gaku?" Kaito asked, chuckling to himself at the hilarity that is Chi and Hideki's love life.

"Arroyo deserves to burn!" Gakupo yelled while getting a soda.

"What?"

"What dumbass village leader decides that the best way to save their village is to send their ONLY hope of survival into a dangerous temple and the final challenge is fighting a warrior who has no qualms against snapping your neck?" Gakupo explained. There were a few moments of silence while Gakupo took a sip of soda.

"Having trouble in Fallout 2 then?" Kaito asked. Gakupo nodded.

"That's the first level and I can't beat it. What kind of gamer am I?" Gakupo asked sarcastically.

Kaito shrugged and returned to his show. "Maybe you're not playing it right?" he suggested.

"I ought to smack you," Gakupo said and went to check the fridge. "Do we have any eggplants?" he asked.

"I don't know, I'm not crazy about them like you," Kaito said and Gakupo chose to ignore it and continued searching for an eggplant. That's when the apartment's visitor came in. It looked around the room for a moment before laying its eyes on Gakupo. Kaito noticed it standing there when the commercial break started. I feel it should be pointed out that it was a slow day for the only sane members of the Vocaloids, in order to explain Kaito's reaction to seeing a green monster in his apartment.

"The cat's gotten kind of big," he remarked. Gakupo looked at him oddly, not noticing the visitor yet.

"What are you talking about?" Gakupo asked, noticed where Kaito was looking and turned in that direction. "We don't have a CREEEEPER!" He yelled, dropping his soda.

Kaito looked at him, back at the creeper, back at Gakupo, then back at the creeper before realizing his error. "Oh crap, that's not a cat! What in the-"Kaito was interrupted by Gakupo giving us a perfect example of how to deal with a Creeper. Let's watch.

"Oh no, nonononono, I had to deal with that thing all the time in Minecraft, I'm not dealing with them here. Screw this, I'm outta here!" And with that, Gakupo got a running start before jumping out a window. Kaito just stared in disbelief while the Creeper shuffled out the window after Gakupo. Miku ran in the room a few seconds later.

"Kaito, there was some green thing that came down here and-"Miku noticed the broken window, "…SERIOUSLY? We just fixed that from the Sasquatch!" She yelled. That seemed to snap Kaito out of his trance.

"Well, that was completely random. By the way, I heard noises from Rin and Len's room. What's going on?" Kaito asked. Miku started rubbing the bridge of her nose again.

"It's…complicated. You better see for yourself," Miku said and motioned for Kaito to follow her, which he did after making sure his show was paused. His reaction was more or less the same as Miku's when he saw the portal.

"What the hell?" he asked bemusedly, "How did this happen?"

"Apparently, they," Miku said, pointing at the Kagamines, who were sitting on their bed, "blended some food together and this happened. I don't care how it happened; I just want to get rid of it. We won't get our lease back if it swallows the building."

Kaito started thinking, but couldn't think of anything considering there was a tear in reality in front of him. Everyone was thinking about a solution when one Lily walked in and joined in the staring.

"Yep," Lily said, startling the others, "What yew got here is one of them tears in reality. It could become a problem in the future."

Kaito and Miku exchanged looks before Kaito said, "Ok, and?"

"I can get rid of it for yew," Lily said with an air of pride.

"Really?" Miku asked. Lily nodded. Miku then realized who she was talking to and sighed. "How much?" she asked.

"20,000 yen," Lily said, holding her hand out. The group sighed and reached for their wallets. Len, who carried the money for him and Rin, had 5,000 on him, Miku also had 5,000, and Kaito provided the last 10,000. With the money in hand, Lily pocketed it and pulled a flute from the straps of cloth she called an outfit. She started to play the tune to 'Feel My Soul.'

Miku and Kaito exchanged looks and shrugged. Surprisingly, the portal started to close. It was taking its sweet time though, allowing Lily to finish the song. When it finally did close, she sighed and put the flute away.

"Welp, that takes care of that," Lily said and handed Kaito a business card, "If something like this happens again, call me ok?"

"Right, why are you talking like that?" Kaito asked.

"No reason," Lily said, dropping the southern accent and smiling. With that she left the room.

"Why was she here?" Kaito asked Miku a moment after Lily left, "Doesn't she live in a different building?"

"Oh I don't care, as long as that thing is gone." Miku replied. Silence filled the room for a minute, and then Rin broke the silence.

"Anyone hungry?" she asked. There was another moment of silence before Miku sighed.

"Yeah, I could go for some takoyaki," she said.

The Kagamines cheered simultaneously, forgetting the trouble they caused again, and rushed out of their room, Kaito and Miku following them.

"We still need to fix that window, you know," Kaito said. Miku waved the comment off.

"We'll worry about it tomorrow," she said and the two decided to focus on the rest of the day.

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><p>Well, there it is. I hope you enjoyed it and I wonder what kind of craziness we can come up with next time? Only one way to find out!<p>

Hey Kids, it time for some** SHAMELESS PLUGINS!**

In a bit of boredom, I wrote a crossover story. You'll find it in my profile. /plugin

I wonder how long it will take for people to hurt me for doing that? Oh well. See you next time!


	3. minichapter: a quiet day

This chapter's kinda short, but whatever, this was kind of spur of the moment anyway. So, enjoy the mini-chapter.

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><p>"Give it back!" Len shouted at Rin.<p>

"No!" Rin shouted back.

The two were chasing each other through the Vocaloid apartment for one reason or another. This was unfortunate for Gakupo and Luka, the only other members in the house at the moment, who were currently lounging and reading a magazine respectively. The two tried their hardest to ignore the 'Trouble Twins' and failing. Surprisingly, it was Luka who snapped.

"SHUT UP!" Luka yelled, startling the others. Len and Rin actually settled down and went off to do something or another. Luka took a second to collect herself, one of her eyes twitching the entire time. When she calmed down, she looked at Gakupo.

"Tell me Gaku-kun, why are we the ones who have to look after those two?" She asked.

Gakupo shrugged. "Meiko and Kaito are surprisingly working, recording albums and stuff, and Miku is in America for a tour or something," he explained.

"Oh yeah, the one paid for by Toyota right?" Luka asked, which Gakupo nodded too, "I wonder how she's doing? Los Angeles is a big place."

"I'm sure she's fine and doing more interesting things than us," Gakupo said.

Meanwhile, Miku was more or less enjoying herself in L.A. At the moment, she was wandering the con she was at, eating a snack along the way.

'There are a lot of cosplayers here. I don't really get it, but whatever, to each their own. I wonder where I should go next?' Miku thought to herself. Just then, a wild cosplayers appeared! He was wearing a lab coat and was wearing those x-ray glasses you would normally order in the back of comics or cheap magazines. He was also laughing in a mad scientist's kind of laugh.

"HAhahahaha, finally with the power of SCIENCE, I've found the real Miku Hatsune! Or just a really good cosplayers, which one are you?"

Miku was rightly confused. "Uh, the real-"

"Of course you're the real one!" He interrupted, "Now with the power of SCIENCE, I'll scan you with my scientific thingy and get an exact schematic of your internal systems!" He yelled and gestured to a device that TOTALLY wasn't just a reskinned PSP.

"I don't under-" Miku tried to say, but was once again interrupted by the man screaming about science and fiddled with his not-PSP. Eventually he stopped.

"Wait, my thingy says you don't have any electronics in you at all," he said and looked at Miku doubtfully, "You're not an android, are you?"

"Not that I know of," Miku said, still confused.

"Oh," the man said, slightly disappointed. He then turned around and shouted, "False alarm, she's not an android." Miku swore she heard a collective groan from the crowd behind him. He then leaned toward Miku and started whispering. "Yeah, sorry about that, but some people have been following you around because of some rumor that you're an android or something. It's best to get that kind of thing out of the way real quick. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay here." After that, he started laughing again and walked to another part of the con.

_'What the hell?'_ Miku thought to herself and then sighed. _'Great, a whole ocean between me and Len and Rin and I __**still**__ can't get away from insanity.'_ She looked around for something to distract her and thankfully found some booths selling art. Soon enough, Miku had forgotten about the event.

Back at the Vocaloid residence, Len and Rin were peeking into Miku's room, or more precisely, what they had accidentally put in there.

"You think we should tell the others?" Rin asked as they closed the door.

"No, they'll come down on us hard," Len answered.

"They're gonna find out anyway when Miku-chan gets home."

"Yeah, but it's better to be dead _later_ than dead _now_."

Rin nodded at Len's point, then asked, "You hungry?"

"Yeah, let's get something to eat," he said and the two walked away and ignored the growling coming from Miku's room.


	4. Miku returns

**I love having this story, it's a good place for me to put random ideas I get.  
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><p>Miku had finally gotten back from her tour states side. She probably would have enjoyed it if she hadn't spent most of it worrying that the Kagamines would do something disastrous while she was away. So she was glad to find the apartment was still intact.<p>

"Hey, I'm back." Miku yelled into the apartment.

"Oy," Gakupo yelled back from the living room, "It's just me and Len for now."

Miku walked into the living room, leaving her suitcase at the door for now. "Good, they cause less trouble separa- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING DOING HERE?" She yelled and pointed at the offending object. The Creeper from the portal incident was next to the couch Gakupo was sitting at, staring at Miku with a collar around the best guess at where its neck was.

"Who, Fluffy?" Gakupo asked, pointing at the Creeper, "He's my new pet. If your concern is him exploding, he hasn't yet."

"That's not the point! Why is it even here, you freaked out the last time you saw it!"

"Right, well remember when he came here? He chased me for a bit after I jumped out the window and-"

"How did you survive that anyway?" Miku asked.

"That's not important. Anyway, he eventually cornered me in an alley and just kind of stared at me. I don't know why I decided to keep him actually," Gakupo looked at 'Fluffy', "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Fluffy just looked at Gakupo for a second then back at Miku.

Miku started rubbing her forehead. "Not even five minutes back and I already have a headache," she said with a sigh. It was here that Len walked into the room.

"Hey Gakupo, have you seen my OH CRAP!"

Miku spun around and stared at the young blonde. "What do you mean 'oh crap'?" Miku asked.

Len immediately got rid of the surprised look on his face. "Nothing," he replied casually.

Miku sighed. "Whatever, I don't have time for you. I'm gonna go to bed," she said and started to move past Len.

"You…might not want to do that," Len said with some hesitation, which caused Miku to sigh and face him.

"What did you do?" she asked.

"For the record, this is the first time I've heard of anything," Gakupo shouted from the living room.

"Well, me and Rin kind of accidentally put something in your room," Len said in his usually tone of voice when explaining himself, "It's been there for a couple of days at least."

Miku sighed again, made a 'stay put' gesture to Len, and went to see what he caused this time. Miku honestly expected a lot of things to be in her room, but even then she was surprised when she opened the door.

"What."

Inside her room was some kind of giant lizard. It was hunched over to avoid hitting the ceiling, and it had horns and claws about a foot long. Miku shut the door and walked away when it turned its head to look at her.

"What the hell is that thing and why is it in my room?" Miku asked when she got back to Len.

Len threw his hands up in the air. "I don't know! We don't do these kinds of things on purpose!" he said.

Gakupo quickly slipped past them to see what they were talking about.

"But why MY room, couldn't you have put it in Meiko's room or something?" Miku asked.

"We don't control these things; it's not our fault that everything we do does something like this!" Len said when Gakupo got back.

"This is very bad guys. That's a Deathclaw." He said with only the slightest hint of panic in his voice.

"That's a what?" Miku and Len asked at the same time.

"A Deathclaw, it's an enemy from Fallout. It's also one of the most deadly ones, so we are in serious trouble."

"Well, how do we get rid of it?" Miku asked, not noticing Fluffy sneaking past them.

"That depends, what's bigger, a platoon or a battalion?"

"Oh great," Miku said and started rubbing her forehead again. It was then that Gakupo noticed Fluffy was gone.

"Where did Fluffy go?" Gakupo asked which caused Miku to scream in frustration.

"Are you serious? I haven't even been back 10 minutes! What else could possibly happen?" She yelled, daring to tempt fate.

Fate answered with a roar from upstairs, with Fluffy running to them who was in turn followed by the Deathclaw, which looked _pissed._ Screaming and running into the living room ensued.

The three rushed into hiding places as soon as they could find, which mostly entailed of Len jumping the kitchen counter and Miku and Gakupo hiding behind a couch. So when the Deathclaw got to the living room, all it saw was Fluffy, standing its ground.

"What is it doing?" Miku asked, carefully peeking over the couch with Gakupo.

"I don't know, but I'm sure he has a plan," Gakupo said.

"If that thing blows up in here…" Miku said but didn't finish when the Deathclaw roared and charged.

Now, Deathclaws are very agile predators, which helps with their deadliness. This one however has been cooped up in a closed space for a while and couldn't react like it would in prime condition. The reason I say this is because this was one of the prime factors in how Fluffy's 'Bull fight' maneuver worked, which was just Fluffy jumping out of the way at the right time so the Deathclaw ran past it and crashed through the window.

Anti-climactic, don't you think?

"Well that was anti-climactic," Len said as the three walked to the window to check the damage.

"Do you think it survived?" Gakupo asked.

"I don't care, either way it's someone else's problem now," Miku said then sighed and started rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Great, now I'm going to have to replace the window **again** and more than likely my door too. Where's the phone?" she asked and walked away to find one.

Len and Gakupo looked at each other and then at Fluffy, who was just standing there.

"Nice job, Fluffy," Gakupo said. The Creeper nodded and walked out of the room.

"Well, what now?" Len asked. Gakupo sighed.

"We're probably going to have to apologize to the neighbors again," Gakupo said, obviously not wanting to do it.

"Can we get milkshakes before that?" Len asked.

"Sure, why not? Let's see if Miku wants one."

"Yay!" With that, the two left. Life goes on.

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><p>Later that evening, Rin was hanging outside the apartment enjoying a treat.<p>

_'Orange flavored ice cream, simply amazing,'_ she thought to herself. She was so enraptured in her treat she didn't notice the man walking down the hall until he stopped in front of her.

"Hey," she said hesitantly.

"Hi," he said back while staring at Rin, "Your one of the Vocaloids right?"

That put Rin on guard. She watched him closely and nodded. He sighed with relief.

"That's good, it's way too awkward knocking on your door," he said and held up some mail and handed it to Rin, "I keep getting your mail by accident."

Rin accepted the mail and he moved on after nodding goodbye.

_'What a weird man,'_ she thought and took a bite out of her ice cream, which she soon regretted when the headache kicked in.


End file.
